unfinishedtots(c)


/ my life lost its whole meaning.
sometimes, fate just can't stop medding ..


navigate with the 4 circles under the title "random"

the hunky blog owner

Lye Huat
huatose/BBGB/papa-san
cute hot and sexy
28 Jan 1988
Xishan
Northland
Ngee Ann Poly
Biotechnology
amplitude_zero@hotmail.com

likes

`me myself and no one else
`LSCT GEELLs <3<3<3
`my friends
`my family (cousins included)
`james blunt
`money =)
`get wild and WHEEE!!
`vitamin c *slurps
`NP life!

hates

`DESPERADO P (*winks) `naggy saggies
`fats on my tummy
`curly hair
`billabong =(
`lose faith
`lose confidence
`NP exams..

Saturday, December 17, 2005

how u define rich or poor

how do u define rich or poor

its damn sad..

i'm so jealous of kelvin and pandora
their dad got them a drum set each

i'm so jealous of peiling, stamford and other pple in strings
they all got their own violins

i'm so jealous of joeven, yong ren and benjamin
all 3 of my juniors all got their own flute

well.. it'd be really great to have your own instruments
i mean its your very own instrument..
wads the use of learning that instrument
not being able to own one yourself?

pple keep calling me rich..
do u think i am?
u never know how fast my bank acc is running
u all love checking my wallet
when u all see stacks of cash
u all assume that i'm rich
u all never bother to ask wads the money for..
and yes i do take cabs to school..
but u think i had a choice?
if i wasn't late u think i will take a cab down to school?

i've always wanted to study music
i know that i will survive in nafa
but music is wad i really wanna take
at least i'm doing wad i love
u think i like biotech so much?
well u're so wrong..
I HATE BIOTECH
fancy looking into microscope looking at cells..
doing things so not related to the course (like maths)..
wad do i get after 3 years there?
come out become lab tech?
such an ideal job huh..
doing things i hate is not the worst
wads worse is the stress being around so many pple much cleverer than you..

microbio test is over..
i sacrficed my sleep to study
if i still fail this test i really got nth to say
i keep telling myself
"i'm not stupid, i'm just a lil slower than the others"
but its not helping

its horrible to see your class do well in the exams
and you yourself do badly..
i cannot help it but to see myself as stupid..
i'm trying very hard to not think myself as useless
but i cannot help it..

when i see pple being able to memorise things just in a snap of his fingers..
i always think y m i so forgetful..

i feel so alone nowadays
i dunno y
i think i chose to be alone

i feel myself moving further and further away from my friends
i dun think i'm communicating well..
i feel that my presence in the group is no longer important..
me being there or not does not matter anymore
maybe they feel that when i'm not there
the group will be happier..

wads the use of being there for your friends
when in times u need them
they were never there..
i'm not pointing at anyone of you
but.. i just..

wads the point of doing so much for them
okay, i'm not asking u to give me sth in return
but at least show your appreciation?
sometimes i do feel that i'm taken for granted..
u know how bad it feels like..??

i haven been able to find a soul mate
dun have to be a guy
but someone who i can talk to
complain to
share my sorrows with
my pillow smells better day by day
i guess its because of all my saliva on it
when i talk to it..

i dunno but i think my life really sucks
i'm not doing wad i want
everyday seem to be a misery..
no point waking up every morning
telling myself
"today's gonna be a GOOD day"
anymore..

my cousins and brother all went overseas..
i'm feeling so alone now..
i hate this feeling..
they must be enjoying there..
i'm here in singapore..
studying for my tests..
modules that i hate..
2 weeks of holidays dun seem like holidays to me..
its actually killing me emotionally..

seriously, i'm sick of my life..
i'm trying my best to be positive now..
but obviously, its not working..

i'm all moody and down
i dun feel good..



i do not seek your sympathy..
i just need to find a medium to shout out wad i've been keeping in my mind..
if my post offended anyone of you.. i'm sorry..

tis' my random thoughts at 8:58 PM

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